harem (noun): a group of women associated with one man – Merriam-Webster
Building your very first harem seems like a hard task. A harem is so far out there, so different from familiar traditional monogamy, that it’s almost like a fantasy. But modern harems are real – and in this post I’ll teach you how to build your first harem.
For introverted men like me, harems are an ideal way to run game. For one thing, they satisfy the male need for sexual variety. But they also satisfy emotional needs, since you can set up relationships with your worthy harem girls. Harems are safer sexually, since you can avoid STDS if you have a closed off, loyal group of girls. And finally, harems free up your time. Meaning, if handled properly, a harem consumes less time than skirt-chasing.
So if you’re a player who wants to move his game into intermediate territory, a harem is a necessity. But if you’re building your debut harem, first you’ve gotta understand the different ways a man can “spin plates.”
A Basic Harem
This is when a man dates multiple women but lies to keep them around. A common scenario would be a guy with a girlfriend who promises her monogamy, but cheats on her. Lying to women shows weak inner game. So avoid basic harems.
When a man dates multiple women but is honest about it; each girl knows about the others. In this scenario, some of his women may date other men. And since some girls will leave and come back again; this arrangement is also known as a rotating soft harem.
The pinnacle of harem management. This is when a man dates multiple women, they all know about each other, but they remain faithful only to him. This is the hardest level to master, and can take significant time and energy. But it’s also the most rewarding type, for obvious reasons.
So, how can you build your first harem?
Here’s a step-by-step guide…
1) Make A Goal
Do you want a soft or royal harem? A girlfriend and a “mistress” with occasional rotating sluts? A few fuckbuddies? Or just temporary flings? The answer depends on your preferences. So think about your ideal scenario and set harem goals. If you can clearly visualize what you want, you’re more likely to attract girls to fulfill those desires.
2) Develop A Pipeline
Now, you’ve gotta develop a pipeline. I still use OKCupid, with occasional forays into Tinder. Day game and social circle game are also good options. The point is to master your chosen method for a consistent flow of new women in your life.
3) Seduce Girl One
If you’re starting with nothing, then getting girl one is critical. Once you’re getting laid regularly, it’ll be easier for you to develop the proper attitude you need for gaming new girls.
4) Rinse & Repeat
Once you’ve banged your first girl, the sexual urgency is gone. But if you’re looking to build a stable, you can’t afford to rest on your laurels. Instead, you’ve gotta pipeline, keep gaming. That’s the only way to keep your harem freshly supplied.
5) Maintain Abundance Mentality
It’s easier to seduce new girls and let old ones go if you know you can get new women. So have faith in yourself and your ability to game. Strike out with a new girl? Lose an old plate? Don’t worry player, you’ll find another one.
6) Categorize Properly
Some women will only be temporary flings. Others will stay with you for years. Read them properly. For example, don’t treat a fuckbuddy like a girlfriend. Or vice versa. Learn to put women in the right categories.
7) Minimize Time Spent Together
Minimize the time you spend with each woman in your harem. Only see each girl one or two days a week. This serves two purposes. For one, it increases her attraction by making her miss you. And two, it frees up your time. So you can make money, get ripped, or game new girls.
8) Have Good Sex
Good sex will keep her from asking too many questions at first. And it’ll keep her around once she knows all the gritty details. So bang her well, keep her addicted to the sex, and keep your harem intact for longer.
9) Avoid “The Talk”
You’d be surprised how long you can date a woman before she asks about your other girls. So never bring up monogamy. Eventually, she’ll ask about it. And when she finally brings up the other girls, and demands an answer?
10) Be Honest
Once she asks about your harem, be honest about the other girls in your life. Yes, you date other girls. And you probably always will. And if she doesn’t like it, she can leave. And if she chooses to go…
11) Maintain Strong Inner Game
If she walks away? Don’t get too upset. Let her go with grace. Fall back on your other girls. Game new ones. And always…
12) Take Her Back
Women come and go. But not every girl stays gone. Some come back, after a while. So if she does? Make her return easy on her. Forgive her quickly, and let her come back into the harem without giving her any drama.
Harems are high-level, advanced relationship game. More than likely, you’ll mess up your first few attempts to create one. Getting them right takes practice. But once you do? You’ll find that despite the effort required, the rewards make them worth it.
Read More: Serial Monogamy Is Introvert Kryptonite