I’ve got pretty extreme introvert tendencies.
Ironically, almost ALL of my strongest and longest-lasting relationships have been with highly extroverted women.
Conflict is inevitable when pairing up a modern day suburban hermit with a flirty social butterfly.
As a game-aware introvert, you can minimize the introvert-extrovert conflict and get the most out of your odd couple relationship.
Here’s what male homebodies should focus on when dating outgoing girls:
1) Make Her Come To You
This is pretty basic game advice, but it’s vital for introverted men. In general, it’s always better to make your woman come to you. Your relationship hand will be far stronger if she’s regularly traveling to come to you, versus you going to visit her. And as in introvert, you’re always going to be most comfortable in your own home or living space. Set that precedent very early on, date one or two if possible. And after that, make her come to you almost every single time.
2) Be Her Sanctuary
Extroverted girls tend to live crazy, chaotic lives. Many work in highly social jobs, and have deep social circles. She’s constantly meeting new people. Younger (18-25 year old) extroverted women rarely live alone. So, she’ll have the inevitable drama caused by work, friends, roommates, and families.
Your life, in contrast, is likely a bastion of calm and order. As an introvert, it’s likely that you live alone. And even if you do have roommates, your life is peaceful compared to her chaotic existence. Go out of you way to make your home a safe place for your extroverted girlfriends. They should associate you and your place with relaxation, quiet, and security. And of course, great sex.
3) Educate Her
Many extroverted women simply don’t get it. You should assume she doesn’t understand introversion, at all. Many extroverts simply can’t fathom introversion. Her life is a whirlwind of fun, events, and activities. Spending time alone is utterly alien to her. And actually enjoying solitude? Fuggedaboutit! So, many extroverted girls will take it very personally when you show little enthusiasm for going in public with her or her people.
Educate her on your ways early on. Explain that you’re neither shy nor socially retarded. You’ve already successfully seduced her, she knows that you DO have strong social skills. It’s not that you can’t, it’s that you don’t want to. You simply feel drained of energy after dealing with groups of people. Tell her you’d rather focus on her one-on-one, and give her your full energy, love, and attention. Without being distracted by others.
How much you choose to explain is up to you. If you don’t give a shit about her, then don’t explain anything. But if she’s a girlfriend, LTR, OLTR, or MLTR, then verbalizing your desires isn’t a bad thing.
4) Cultivate Me Time
Once she understands your personality, you can use that in ways that benefit you. Use introversion as a consistent reason to avoid meeting her friends and family. Introversion is also a good reason to avoid going out in public with her too often, and spending too much money on her. As an introvert, you need alone time. This is important, so you can re-charge and keep your relationships healthy. Use introversion as reason for spending time alone. Of course, seeing a woman no more than one or two times a week is standard harem management advice. And finally, you can use your introverted personality as a reason for not hanging out with her every day. That gives you time to focus on more important goals. Introversion can also be used to explain lack of communication because “You need your space.”
5) Give Her Freedom
If you’re an introvert, there’s a good chance your extroverted girlfriend knows more people than you. And, she’ll want to spend time with them. You have two choices when she wants to go out in public with her friends and family.
- Go out with her, pretend to like it, and suffer.
- Let her go out while you stay in. Trust her and control your jealousy.
If you don’t want to go out with her to bars, clubs, or social events then understand that she’ll get male attention when you’re not around. You’ve got to be prepared for beta orbiters, slutty female friends, and alpha male competition. Now, I’m not advocating that you tolerate slutty or inappropriate behavior. But, you’ve got to understand her personality; she craves human contact just like you crave solitude. Don’t take it personally when she chooses to goes out, and you choose to stay home alone.
6) Keep Gaming
Introversion is no excuse for weak game. As an introvert, it’s easy to hide away from the world. And once you are getting regular sex, it can be super easy to justify taking a break from game. Short breaks are OK, in my experience. But you still need to keep your game tight, keep practicing. Online game, day game, whatever. Just keep sharp, never rest on your laurels. It doesn’t matter how loyal you think she is, how much she loves you, or how much you love her. You can bet your ass that your bubbly, extroverted girlfriend has other options besides you. Believe that. You’ve got to make sure you have options, and keep spinning plates.
Some of this advice applies to dating any type of girl, whatever her personality type.
But male introvert-female extrovert pairings present special challenges.
It helps to be aware of the differences, and know how to use your introverted personality to strengthen and enhance your love life.