When you’re getting into the dating game, first and second dates are overwhelming. There’s a lot that goes into each one!
First, you’ve gotta convince a girl to meet you. Then you must pick a place. Find the right clothes. Shower, groom, and dress. Travel to and from the date spot. Time your entrance to hers. And then there’s the seduction itself, using verbal and non-verbal game.
So when you’re focused on all those steps, it’s easy to miss the small things!
One crucial first date detail you can’t afford to overlook? The date seating position…
Sure, where you sit seems irrelevant. But it’s actually VERY important.
That’s because touching her, a lot, must be big a part of your first date game.
Basically, you’ve gotta put your hands all over her when you’re in seduction mode.
And that means sitting very close to her. Sit too far away, and you’ll kill your ability to get touchy-feely. And that can cost you.
So sit close enough that you can touch her easy. Without it seeming awkward or forced.
Now, let’s explore some common first date seating scenarios:
Some venues are better for hands-on game more than others. I like local coffee houses, because they fit my introverted personality. Local bars are also good.
Whatever you prefer.
Just pick a place that’s quiet, intimate, and that serves alcohol. But more important, pick a place that has the right kind of seating…
Kitty-corner is my favorite first date seating position.
It’s hard to describe in words, so see the graphic above so you can visualize it. Kitty-corner is good for skittish new girls, or girls you’ve met online. That’s because it allows a bit of distance, at first. But then you gradually move closer as the date goes on, since there’s no real barrier. And as she gets more comfortable, you start touching her aggressively.
The same-side position is also effective. It could be at a bar, on a couch, two seats at a table, a park bench, or on the subway. It doesn’t matter where, as long as you’re right next to her. Same-side is great for establishing rapport fast. With this position there are zero barriers between you so it’s easy to touch her. I’ve had great success using same-side at bars and coffeehouses. And if you’ve got an “American-style” entertainment center set up at home? Most of your lays will come from same-siding her on your couch or bed in front of the TV.
Same-side is the worst possible first date seating position. That’s because it’s harder to touch someone with a barrier between you! So NEVER sit like this on dates (if you can help it). But what if for some reason you can’t avoid across-the-table seating? Don’t panic. You can still make it work! You’ll just need to be more aggressive about touching her. So reach across the table. Grab one of her hands. Talk about her finger nails, manicure, her rings, bracelets, etc. Then do the same with her feet. Ask about her pedicure, feet jewelry, or feet tattoos. Then ask to see body tattoos or piercings. Have her come over to your side while she shows them off. Get creative and you can still make it work.
4) Walking side-by-side
I don’t like walking dates. But sometimes they’re necessary. For example, you might take a 20-year-old girl to the park before going back to your place. Holding hands is OK if you’re walking next to her. Cheesy, yes. But better than not touching her at all! When walking, you can also nudge her, bump her, or grab her hips, shoulders, or back of the neck. Or ideally, find a park bench and same-side her.
Thoughts On Calibration
If you’re gonna be touching girls on first dates, you MUST learn to gauge female interest! Watch her body language. Is she leaning into you? Making it easier for you to touch her? Pressing her knee into yours? Playing with her hair? Touching you? Making strong eye contact (fuck-me eyes)?
Or is she leaning away? Crossing her arms defensively? Placing her purse on her lap as a barrier? Pulling away when you touch her?
Be aggressive, yes. But don’t be creepy! Calibrate what you do based on her body language.
Your Body Language
One way to calibrate yourself? Alternate your body language. During dates, move back and forth between appearing interested and dis-interested. For example, at some points you’d lean forward and touch her. But then other times you’d be leaning back, hands behind your head, appearing kinda bored. This hot/cold dynamic works well on first dates.
Where you sit on a next first date seems minor.
But it’s vital.
So set yourself up for success, player.
Follow this guide, insist on ideal seating, and reap the rewards.
Read More: How To Walk Out On A First Date