I’ve asked him to be more aggressive in bed; pull my hair, call me names, choke me, make me do things. ~ Anonymous Reader Email
I got an email from a female reader who was at the end of her rope – her man was too soft on her during sex.
And since he wasn’t bringing it?
She was re-thinking their entire relationship!
Her email brings up an important point… you must bang your girl well if you want her stick around!
Now of course you can do that without toys.
You can throw her around, choke her, slap her, have anal sex, make her beg for her orgasms.
All those things work to keep things exciting.
But if you wanna take it to the next level?
Use a belt on her…
What kind of belt should you use?
A casual leather belt works best.
The wider the better.
Wider belts have more surface area, making it more comfortable around her neck.
I use a 38mm cow-leather model. Conventional buckle, frame & prong-style.
Roller harness-style also work well.
So, how should you choke her with your belt during sex?
Here are three positions to start you off…
1) The Bad Girl
- Strip her naked.
- You get naked or stay fully clothed.
- Sit in a chair or kneel down in the center of your bed.
- Lay her over your knees.
- Fold the belt over by bending it in the center; make a loop so the end and the buckle meet.
- Belt now forms a whip.
- Grip the belt by the buckle and end.
- Put her ass in the air.
- Beat her ass and back of her thighs with the flat part belt (not the edge).
- Slowly build intensity, then hit her harder and harder.
- Use your free hand to choke her or hold her down, yank her hair and head back, or make her suck your finger(s). Or do all three.
- Continue working her ass and legs with the belt.
- You can also alternate between hitting her and slapping her ass with your hand.
2) Blowjob Beating
- Start off with step one.
- Get naked.
- Sit up in the bed and have her stretch out in front of you between your spread legs.
- She should be face down, on her belly, with her face in your crotch. Or face and chest down, but twisted at her hips so her ass is facing to one side. Laying on one leg with her knees together.
- Make her deep throat you.
- Grab her head with your weak hand to guide the blowjob.
- Now reach over and behind her and slap her ass with the doubled up belt.
- There are variations of this move. For example you could stand over her instead and whip her ass from above.
- This position is challenging if she’s tall and/or you’re short. But usually you’ll be bigger than her. So you should be able to stay in her mouth while you reach behind and whip her.
3) Doggy-Style Garrote
- Take your belt off.
- Thread it through the buckle so it’s looped.
- Keep the looped belt ready next to you.
- Start sex.
- You can use any position but this technique works best combined with doggy-style.
- Grab the looped belt.
- Slide the loop down over her head and face, around her throat.
- Remove any long hair from the loop, the belt should be resting against her bare skin.
- Once belt is in place you can leave her hair loose or gather it up into a ponytail.
- Tighten the loop around her throat. Pull up on the slack end.
- You can now choke her easily by tightening and loosening the belt during sex.
- This takes some finesse. You want it tight enough to cut some blood flow. But not tight enough to choke her out completely!
- A nice steady tension is best. Keep the pressure constant. Combine that with occasional controlled yanks to briefly choke her harder. Keep those hard chokes quick, five-ten seconds max. Then release and repeat.
- Remember, you’ve still got one free hand! So use it. Steady yourself against her shoulders, grip her hips, slap her ass, pull her hair, and slap her face from behind. Or reach around and play with her clitoris or breasts from underneath.
Belt sex pro-tips
Using a belt during sex is an art.
So it takes practice.
Here are some quick tips for getting it right:
1) Hit Yourself First
I’m not into self-flagellation or auto-erotic asphyxiation. But it doesn’t hurt to try things out on yourself first, so you can test out how it feels.
So whip yourself (shirtless) in the upper thighs or back.
Choke yourself (lightly) with the belt garrote.
Experimenting will help you gauge how far to go with her later on.
2) Get Consent
Once you’re having sex, don’t just loop the belt around her neck with no warning.
That’s serial killer shit.
Instead, talk about it first.
Make sure she’s OK with being hit or choked.
If she’s cool with it, then proceed.
3) Use A Safe Word Or Signal
I personally don’t use a safe word for this kind of sex play.
I’m careful not to take it too far.
But if you’re starting off or you like to get really rough?
Then a safe word or signal (like the tap out) is crucial.
4) Start Gentle, End Rough
Women rarely complain that sex is too rough.
But they do complain about it not being rough enough!
So test her limits, push her.
She can take more abuse than you think.
Learning to choke her with your belt is advanced-level sex.
And yes it can seem kinda violent!
But if done right, it’s great fun, adds spice to you sex life, AND helps you dominate your woman.
And all that will lead to a stronger relationship.