19 Rules For A Successful First Date

I’ve gone on a lot of first dates. When I hit 50 I wrote about it, because that seemed like a big number. Then once I hit 100, I wrote about that too. After that I stopped counting.

But if I had to guess, I’d say I’ve probably gone on over 150 first dates by now. Now of course I haven’t banged all the girls I’ve had first dates with! But a lot of those HAVE ended in success. And I’ve also learned from my failures, too.

So I feel confident saying I’m a first date expert. If I can get a girl on a first date, there’s a damn good chance I’m gonna have sex with her fast. Not always, but usually.

Remember: even if you do everything right on a first date you still might not get laid. So you must maximize your odds. And one of the best ways to increase your chances?

First Date Rules

Some of these rules are hard (H) – meaning no exceptions.

Others are more flexible (F) – you can bend them.

Let’s take a look:

1) Control The Date Venue

Always schedule your first dates at the venue of YOUR choosing. Never let the woman pick the location. Don’t compromise and agree to meet some place ‘in the middle.’  This rigidity serves several purposes. One it’s pure logistics: the closer the first date is to your house, the easier it’ll be to go back to your place. And second, you want to test her compliance. Is she down to fuck? If she is, she will always come to you. A woman who wants dick is willing to travel for it. Ambivalent and difficult women will try to make you come to them. So if a woman tries to control the first date venue, always delete her right away. Now if a girl has no car and needs you to pick her up, that’s different. But otherwise, no exceptions. (H)

2) No Third Wheels

Some women will try to bring a female friend along on first dates. They’ll offer various excuses for this: they need a chaperone, their friend is lonely, or visiting from out-of-town, or whatever. The reason is irrelevant. If a girl tries bringing a friend, I tell her that I’d prefer it was just the two of us. If she insists then I delete her number. Also applies to women who ask you out for a group date with her and multiple friends. (H)

3) Maximize Your Looks

Always look your best on first dates. Being stylish and well-dressed goes a long way. Especially since many men dress like bums these days. It’s OK to show off a bit here, maybe display status with expensive clothing, or maybe display your physique with tight-fitting t-shirt. My first date outfits would be described as dressy casual. I wear a v-neck t-shirt, jeans, leather boots, and a blazer with a pocket square. Take time to groom properly before your date, and don’t forget the good cologne! (H)

4) Excellent Logistics

Logistics are an under-rated part of game. Sometimes the difference between getting laid and going home alone comes down to how close your place is to the bar. So make it easy for her to fuck you. You should have first dates at a place close to your house or apartment. Ideally within walking distance. If that’s not possible then some place just a Uber ride away. I’ve actually lost sex because my apartment was one block too far away, and the girl was lazy and didn’t want to walk anymore! (H)

5) Good Location

The venue interior is important. A bar or lounge is best. But a cool coffee shop can work just as well. Several things are important here. Good seating arrangements. Nice ambiance. Low lighting. Good drinks at decent prices. Avoid loud or crowded places. You need to decrease distractions. And quieter, less-crowded venues are more conducive to seduction. Sometimes it’s necessary to have first dates at undesirable site, like gay bars. But those are exceptions, only if absolutely needed. (F)

6) Night Time Dates

There are two types of first dates: night-time and day-time. Now it’s definitely possible to seduce a new girl during the day – I’ve done it before. But evening and night-time first dates are definitely better. For one thing, it’s more normal to have a few drinks at night, and obviously alcohol loosens things up and makes it more likely she’ll bang you. And second, for some reason it just seems easier having sex for the first time during the night. I don’t know why, but that’s just the way it is. (F)

7) No Cinema Dates

Unless they happen in your living room, movie dates are a waste of time. For one thing, movie theaters are expensive. But more importantly, cinemas offer few opportunities to talk or touch her, since you’re both focused on the big screen and there are people all around you. The theatre setup makes seduction nearly impossible. (H)

8) Sit Correctly

I’ve written about seating before, so we’ll just touch on it briefly here. But basically, you should sit right next to girls on your first dates. As close as possible. And that’s so you can more easily and naturally take the next step…(H)

9) Touch Her

Touching a woman on the first date is mandatory. It’s a powerful form of non-verbal communication – you are telling her you want to fuck her without saying it out loud. Touching takes practice. And can seem unnatural if you’re not used to doing it. But you MUST learn to touch women on first dates, in a non-forced and non-creepy way. Most men simply don’t do this. So it sets you apart and greatly increases your chances of getting laid. It also acts as a filter, because if a girl doesn’t like you touching her, then she’ll let you know real fast. (H)

10) Control The Conversation

Subtly control the first date conversation. The best way to do this is to ask questions, listen carefully to her responses, then ask more questions based on her answers. She should be doing around 3/4 of the talking on the first date. It’s OK to talk about yourself, too. But don’t offer much information unless she asks. I always play a little game on my first dates, I try to tell girls as little about myself as possible, while at the same time learning as much about them as I can. (H)

11) Avoid Bad Topics

Controlling conversations also means choosing topics. So talk about things that’ll increase your chances of getting laid. Fun sexy topics like travel, movies, TV shows, drugs and drinking, hobbies, and her hopes and dreams. Talk about her past relationships or sex (sometimes). Avoid disgusting, disturbing, or controversial topics like disease, death, torture, politics, hatred, organized religion, etc. Now with some girls, morbid topics can work. I’ve once got laid on a first date where all we talked about was serial killers and murder! But that’s rare. So avoid things that will gross her out or make her feel uneasy – unless she brings them up. (F)

12) Keep Date Short

This is an important rule especially if you date a lot, or run a harem. Keep you dates short – one hour is ideal. This is for time management purposes. But it also it helps you save money, by cutting the date short. You can make exceptions this rule if you are really enjoying her company, and you think that a few more drinks will help your chances. But your goal should always be to cut the date short and then bounce her back to your place – you can have more drinks there. This time constraint is cultural, too. In the States 60 minutes is all you need. But in Latin America first dates might run longer, 90 minutes is about right. (F)

13) No Food

Always avoid buying food on first dates. That means no dinner dates and no lunch dates. This filters out gold-diggers and women who exploit men for free meals. It saves your hard-earned money. And also why should you buy food for a girl who hasn’t fucked you yet? Buy meals for girlfriends, not prospects. And besides all that, it’s hard to seduce a woman when you’re stuffing your face! Better to keep it simple and stick to drinks or coffee. Now with that said, if a girl eats in front of you when you don’t eat, don’t get annoyed. It’s actually a good sign, it shows she’s very comfortable with you. (F)

14) No Getting Drunk

It’s OK for you to have a few drinks and get a little loose. But it’s not OK to get wasted drunk on a first date. Control yourself. If you’re following Rule 12 and cutting your dates off after an hour, then you’ll automatically control your alcohol consumption. Getting drunk on first dates should be very rare, and only done if she’s getting just as drunk as you are. (F)

15) Kiss Her

I always go for a kiss on the first date. And I don’t wait until the end. I do it during the date. In my experience, if you want to fuck her fast, you gotta kiss her fast. BUT – keep in mind that I live in Mexico City. Kissing in public and PDA are culturally acceptable here in Mexico. In the States, kissing at the bar on the first date might be considered a bit awkward. Although there’s no real reason you can’t do it there, too. Remember, if you don’t kiss her, you ain’t gonna fuck her! (F)

16) Your Place, Not Hers

Always go back to your place after the date. Avoid going to her house. It’s always best to be on your own territory. This helps you avoid unwanted surprises and maximizes your chances, since you’ll be more comfortable and in control. If you’ve planned correctly your house is closer to the bar than her house. But you gotta be flexible here. Sometimes it’s easier, logistically, to go back to her place. For example, maybe she’s staying at a hotel that’s even closer to the bar than your place is, so you go there instead. But most of the time, going back to your home is ideal. (F)

17) Isolation

Isolation is the end goal of all first dates. You’re only gonna fuck her if you can get her alone. So you should try to isolate her as fast as possible. And most of the time, that just means following Rule 16, and getting her back to your place ASAP. (H)

18) Escalation

Escalation begins at the bar. Touching and kissing let her know your intentions. Then once she’s isolated at your place, escalate again. Your goal is getting your cock inside her that night. If she’s into you, and she wants to fuck, she won’t make it too difficult. But if she resists and gives you a hard no? Then send her home, schedule date two, and try again. (H)

19) Two-Date Sex Limit

I have a two-date sexual contact rule. Meaning I must get at least some sexual contact by the end of the second date. Even if it’s just a hand-job or blowjob. If I get no sexual contact by the end of date two, then I cut her off completely. The only exception would be virgins or young women from very conservative cultures. Some might think this rule is too rigid, but I find it’s a good way to filter out time-wasters. (F)

Conclusion

So those are my first date rules.

I think that’s most of them, although I’ve likely forgotten a few.

I’ll add them later if I remember.

Anyhow, of course you don’t need to follow every single rule to have a successful first date!

But the more you do follow, the better your chances will be.

Read More: How To Read First Date Red Flags