Female flaking is epidemic these days.
And it’s getting worse.
I’m not immune – I get flaked on all the time.
But there are different levels of flaking.
For example, you’ve got the basic female flake.
Like when you get a number from an OKCupid girl.
She agrees to a date, but then bails, and you never hear from her again.
But then she ignores your texts completely.
Or maybe you go on a first date with a new prospect.
No sex. But a solid kiss at the end.
Then, she won’t respond when you ask for a second meet, and she fades away with no explanation.
When women flake like this it stings.
Objectively though, you’ve got low emotional investment.
So you’ll stop contacting her and move on. No big deal.
Things get harder when you involve sex.
Even when you’re an experienced player, with strong inner game.
Once a man penetrates a pretty girl, it’s natural for him to feel an emotional connection with her.
So it can hurt when she nexts you after sex, without even telling you why.
It tests your inner game, because there’s ego involved.
Of course there are also different levels of this.
For example, you bang a girl on the first or second date.
Or you have quick fling with a new girl.
Again, your emotional investment was likely still low.
So even though it sucks, you probably don’t care too much.
But then there’s another type of flake.
Let’s call it the nuclear next.
That’s when you’re in a relationship with a girl, and then she flakes on you – without explanation.
This can be a critical relationship moment:
How you handle her flaking can decide if she leaves for good, or if she comes back.
Here’s a recent real-life example:
I found Vicki on OKCupid a few months ago.
A petite 28-year old white girl who’d just gotten out of a long-term relationship.
We got along well, had good chemistry, and she fucked me on the first date.
I like her.
But despite her pleasing physical appearance and our good sex, she travels a lot.
And she has a masculine American career-girl attitude.
So I’m realistic about what she is and what she wants from me.
We began a friendly fuck-buddy relationship.
Not serious, but regular.
Then, she left the country for three weeks, for work.
We kept in touch with some minimal texting, and made plans for her to come over after she got home.
But we didn’t text each other when she got back.
A few days passed.
The day of our date came, and still no contact from her.
I tried waiting her out.
But then I caved.
I texted her later that evening, after I knew she was flaking:
MF: like that huh? (; your loss, good luck
Then I stopped.
She didn’t respond.
I was angry.
It wasn’t thirst, oneitis, or love – I’ve got other options.
It was the disrespect.
How dare she ignore me like that.
I almost gave her a piece of my mind.
But for what?
That would have been too boyfriend-like. And likely killed our relationship.
Yeah, the text I sent her wasn’t ideal – maybe a bit too needy and hurt.
Yes, it would have been better to ignore her completely.
But at least I didn’t say anything too stupid.
The next morning I woke up to a text from Vicki:
Vicki: Hey, I’m so sorry about last night, I feel like an asshole.. I’m still so messed up from jet lag I fell asleep and just woke up!!
Vicki: Can I come over tonight? Please?
MF: hi midget. lol no worries. I thought maybe you got kidnapped by terrorists (;
MF: I have plans tonight :/ but come over tomorrow
Vicki: Plans? Cancel them..
MF: lol I cant. come for a lunchtime quickie (;
MF: uh ok
MF: you know I have been very patient and flexible with you. I kinda like you but you are hard to date. so…you should be flexible for me too
MF: not mad. just sayin…
Vicki: No you’re right, sorry. I’m just being bitchy because I wanted to see you last night and am being impatient
MF: I know. I want to see you too. come tomorrow night ok?
MF: come at 830
She came over the next night, we had sex, and resumed our relationship.
She’s actually sleeping in my bed as I write this.
So that’s the lesson here:
Even when she flakes hard on you, don’t let it affect you (too much).
Careful how you act here, don’t blow yourself out.
Ignoring her is usually the best thing to do.
Yeah that can be tough in practice, but there’s almost zero downside.
If you do respond, always avoid reacting emotionally.
That way you’ll increase your chances of resuming the relationship, since you’ve avoided a dramatic “ending.”
Your inner game gets tested when women flake on you.
It assaults the masculine ego.
But if you’re in the game – it’s gonna happen.
All the time.
So just stay relatively cool and calm when it does, and you’ll reap the rewards.
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