I have a specific rule set I follow when it comes to women, dating, and sex.
And I usually follow those rules with few exceptions.
But of course, good game means being flexible sometimes when the situation calls for it.
Sometimes the rule-breaking works out – you ‘win’ and get laid.
But other times, you break your rules and it doesn’t work, you still lose.
Here’s a story of one of those times.
I found Selena on Tinder here in Mexico City early one Monday morning. We made plans to meet for coffee later that evening at 7:00.
She was already sitting outside the coffee shop waiting for me when I arrived. She was actually on time, she’d gotten there before me! This was a good sign as Mexican women are rarely punctual. So it started off well…
She was really good-looking, a rare Tinder gem. A 25-year old Mexican actress with long thick black hair, perfect bow lips, pale skin, and big black doe eyes. She was well-dressed and feminine, nails done perfectly, wearing high heels, and sporting a low-cut blouse that showed off and accentuated her pretty breasts.
We seemed to hit it off. She was enthusiastic, talkative, and responded well to my touch. She touched me back, stroked my forearms, and even held my hand. When we started date, her knees pointed away from me. But towards the end, she’d turned her body in her seat and was pointing both her knees towards my crotch.
I figured I had a strong chance of banging her that night. So I did a venue change and we walked to a bar close by. It was Monday so we had the place to ourselves. We took a table out on the patio and ordered mojitos. We started kissing after the first round of drinks. And we alternated between making out hard and talking, for a while.
There seemed to be serious chemistry between us!
But then I made my first error…
She asked for my Instagram account. This isn’t a common first-date question so it took me by surprise. Instead of lying and saying I didn’t have one, I gave it to her. But I’d forgotten that I had it linked to this blog. She didn’t look at my profile right away, though. She just added me and then put her phone down.
A little after that she said she liked cannabis, another (usually) positive sign. So I invited her back to my house to smoke. She said no because she had to get up early in the morning. It was only 9:00 PM. So that was a bullshit excuse.
OK, clearly it was time to go.
So I paid the bill, she ordered her Uber, we kissed goodbye, and then I walked home.
I was aggravated and didn’t expect to hear from her again.
But then she texted me thirty minutes later. She’d already found my blog and had questions. Then she actually called me and we spoke on the phone for a while. This is very unusual but I took it as another positive sign. We agreed to meet again the next day.
But then she flaked. And she couldn’t meet on Wednesday. Or Thursday. And she was going out-of-town that weekend. But she kept insisting we could meet next week, that she’d make it up to me!
My gut told me to delete her number and forget about it. But I ignored my instincts and kept responding to her texts, although I dialed back my attention and kept responses short.
Next week rolled around.
And despite my better judgement I agreed to meet her for the second date…
Our second date was at another bar near my house. It was later this time, 9:30 PM. I took that as a positive sign since late evening dates are usually more conducive to sex.
I walked to the bar from my house. Once again she was already there when I arrived. This date was basically a repeat of the first. I let her talk more this time, just asked her a bunch of questions.
I also touched her a lot. At one point my hand was gripping her upper leg – high enough so my thumb was firmly nestled between her thigh and her pussy. I even stroked the sides of her breasts, with my hands up under her heavy coat so no one could see. She didn’t stop me, she seemed enthusiastic, and again, she kept touching me back!
But then came the red flags. She started talking about how she needed to get up early. Asking me if I had to get up early too. As soon as she brought that up I knew that was it. She wasn’t gonna come home with me. I almost didn’t even bother asking her to come back to my place since I already knew the answer.
But I figured I might as well try, right?
So I asked her to come back to my apartment.
Of course she said no.
I needed to get out of there ASAP!
I didn’t want to waste another second on this stupid girl.
So when she went to the bathroom I paid the bill.
Then I walked out before she got back.
Ghosted on her.
Of course when I got home a few minutes later, she’d already called and texted me, asking me if I had left? “Yes, good luck” was my response. Then I deleted her number, deleted her follow-up texts, and never saw her again.
So the main rule I broke here? I kept paying attention to a girl who I knew, based on her actions, was probably not gonna fuck me. Zero sexual contact on the first date and then making me wait eight days until the second date, made it extremely unlikely that I would bang her.
And I knew that.
But I decided to make an exception for her and I kept pursuing.
Because I thought this girl was a bit different. So I treated her special, broke my rules, and ignored my gut. But she wasn’t different. And instead of listening to my instincts, which told me to forget her and move on, I chose to believe her bullshit. And I ended up losing time, energy, and money.
In the end I wasn’t even mad at her. I was mad at myself for ignoring my better judgement. And that night after the failed second date, the same thought kept running through my head, that old meme…
You played yourself.
So let that be a lesson to you dear reader.
Trust your gut when it comes to women.
And cut off the time-wasters fast, no matter how attractive they are, with very few exceptions.
Read More: How To Go On 100 First Dates